The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures takes a hard, honest look at the real difficulties faced by the dating public in today's Orthodox world. With the rates of divorce and eating disorders rising, complaints regarding the shortage of men and the move away from socializing activities to the extensive use of third-party matchmakers, a true crisis exists and may be worsening. In this book, the author explores these issues, particularly those related to how matches are made. He finds that most are made based on availability, not compatibility, and on superficial criteria that have no relevance to what truly makes a marriage successful. Citing relevant data from the fields of psychology, sociology, and neurology, along with a host of anecdotes from a wide range of people, Dr. Salamon, a well-known psychologist, author, and lecturer, provides guidelines to help alleviate this crisis.
Dr. Salamon looks at the lists of criteria, the questions that people ask and the expectations for a mate that have developed over the last several years within the shidduch (matchmaking for marriage) process, and shows how they are counter-intuitive for forming healthy marriages. He also shows how much of what passes for background checking, in fact, may be lashon ha-ra (tale bearing). But most importantly, Dr. Salamon provides real suggestions for going beyond the physical, superficial standards that have contributed to a developing shidduch crisis. He advocates an approach where a measure of personal maturity is returned to those who are dating and makes the case for alleviating the external pressures on the dating couple.
Dr. Salamon looks at the lists of criteria, the questions that people ask and the expectations for a mate that have developed over the last several years within the shidduch (matchmaking for marriage) process, and shows how they are counter-intuitive for forming healthy marriages. He also shows how much of what passes for background checking, in fact, may be lashon ha-ra (tale bearing). But most importantly, Dr. Salamon provides real suggestions for going beyond the physical, superficial standards that have contributed to a developing shidduch crisis. He advocates an approach where a measure of personal maturity is returned to those who are dating and makes the case for alleviating the external pressures on the dating couple.